It's now the middle of March. How many of your "New Year's Resolutions" have you given up on already? The whole New Year's resolution thing seems to be such a negative experience that I'm surprised that so many people keep saying each January that this is the year they are going to lose weight, going to eat healthier, going to exercise, etc, etc, etc. I doubt that they fail because of a lack of desire, but because of a lack of knowledge of how to set and achieve goals.
Goal setting is so easy that even a 7 year old can learn it. As I said in an earlier post, on New Year's Eve I sat with my wife and daughters and we each set our goals for the year. After the girls returned to school, my first grader's teacher talked to her class about resolutions, and shared as an example that hers was to lose weight. Her teacher later shared with me that my daughter was quick to correct her and tell her that her goal was not specific enough. My daughter let her teacher know that goals have to be specific, so she shouldn't just say she wants to lose wieght, but also how much. Just like dear old dad taught her!
So that leads me to point 1: Be specific, and be as specific as you can. Think of a target you might shoot at. It is in the shape of a circle with rings painted on it, each smaller as you get to the center, ending in the middle with a bullseye. Setting a general goal is better than no goal at all, but what will help you be more successful is setting a goal with a bullseye. A goal to eat more fruit is a broad and blurry target. A goal to eat 2 pieces of fruit a day is a bullseye. A specific goal will be much easier to track. You will know daily weather you are achieving your goal, and if not, you will know exactly what you need to do to improve.
Point 2: Write your goals down. It may seem a given, but you should have a written list of your goals. This list will not be etched in stone. I hope that after several months, it will have coffee stains on it because you look over it at breakfast, it will have check marks by goals you have accomplished, it will have new goals written on it, and it will have old goals modified as you grow and realize that you set your original goal too low. Have the list in a handy spot where you see it daily.
Point 3: Review your goals at least once a month. Having a written list of your goals will make monthly reviews easy. Sit down somewhere quite and spend some honest time with yourself evaluating how your work towards each goal is progressing. This is a time you can add to your list if you need to. I just today sat down with the family to review our goal progress so far this year. Each of us added at least one new goal to our list. My new goals were to renew an old friendship, and to start a new friendship. This is also a time to modify a goal if you need to. This could include raising or lower your expectations for yourself. In my case, I originally set a goal to complete in a sprint triathlon this year. I've realized that I'll be able to do more than this, so I reset the goal to complete in 2 sprint triathlons and 1 olympic triathlon. You might also need to lower a goal because life circumstances have changed.
Point 4: Share your goals with others. There is no better accountability than telling family, friends, and coworkers your goals. When the going gets rough, and you feel like giving up, just knowing that someone is going to ask you how your goal is coming is motivating. And you may find help from some of these people. Just yesterday, out of the blue, a coworker gave me a triathlon training book he had lying around. Free book to help me with my goal!
Point 5: Be flexible. You will naturally set some goals too low. Sometimes, you just don't know what you can do until you try it. Then you find you are much better suited for it than you thought. If it looks like a goal you set will be too easy, don't hesitate to make a more difficult goal for yourself. On the other hand, don't beat yourself up if a goal you set was just to ambitious. It's okay to lower a goal. Lowering a goal is much better than just quitting on it all together.
Point 6: Falling behind in a goal is a time to re-focus, not give up. If you find there is a goal you are struggling with, don't allow yourself to quit on it. One bad meal on a diet doesn't have to lead to a bad day. Refocus, and make the best out of the rest of the day. Don't let your mind rationalize quitting, either short term or long term. Your mind might say that since you gave in to that chocolate cake for dessert at lunch, you might as well have what you want the rest of the day and get back on track the next day. That is just the beginning of a slippery slope. Refocus as soon as you realize you stumbled on your goal. Remind yourself why you set the goal in the first place. Remember how good it felt just to set the goal and know that you were taking your first step towards improving yourself. A mistake is not a failure unless you quit. It might be time to find some fresh material to read pertaining to your goal and re-motivate yourself.
You are on your way out of ordinary and toward extraordinary. Set yourself some challenging goals, write them down and put them where you will see them daily, and stay focused.
Let me leave you with this. It's not all about the goal. It's about the journey. Fall in love with the process of becoming better, not just the end product, and you will enjoy your life much more. You don't sing a song to get to the end….
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